Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Never joke about your clitoris.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
