i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
