I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize