You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
