It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
