escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You may now shotgun with the bride
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
