After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
