It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
