I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
