Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
