She said her name was "party"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
