I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
