i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
