He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Two words: nipple clamps
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