I wish I could punch you in the face.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
