Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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