legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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