You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize