so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
