I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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