i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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