Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
