Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
