There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
