Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
