he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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