Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
