Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
