South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
