Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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