If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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