Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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