i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
