I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
