Your mouth is God's brothel.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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