if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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