I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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