the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
