Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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