I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
