Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
