Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
