i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
