There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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