i think my tv is drunk
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
They are going to name an STD after you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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