we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
