she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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