Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
