Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
