im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
