do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I deserve this hangover.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
