Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
