u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The best revenge is premature balding
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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