Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
