Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?

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  (210): Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat? http://tfl.nu/57e1
  Replies (25) Good night (2875) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  after a month anything with tits is on the radar

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  (832): after a month anything with tits is on the radar http://tfl.nu/wbqo
  Replies (12) Good night (780) Bad night (3476) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I just did the classiest thing ever.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  last time you said that you got chlamydia.

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  (440): I just did the classiest thing ever. (216): last time you said that you got chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/33ag
  Replies (19) Good night (1393) Bad night (6354)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4717) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple

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  (423): I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple http://tfl.nu/2rws
  Replies (11) Good night (1816) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot

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  (330): she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot http://tfl.nu/2af5
  Replies (3) Good night (1630) Bad night (475)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.

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  (972): Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate. http://tfl.nu/fawd
  Replies (5) Good night (1474) Bad night (536)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?

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  (781): do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents? http://tfl.nu/2gwr
  Replies (13) Good night (512) Bad night (1497) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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  (807): Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath http://tfl.nu/x0dh
  Replies (7) Good night (2494) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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  (954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7
  Replies (7) Good night (1765) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months

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  (787): Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months http://tfl.nu/wlwj
  Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

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  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (559) Bad night (2016) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.

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  (210): I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted. http://tfl.nu/x81s
  Replies (8) Good night (348) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner

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  (916): Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner http://tfl.nu/9gah
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.

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  (647): Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul. http://tfl.nu/h3kr
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (93)

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