Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.