Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

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  (843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr
  Replies (56) Good night (6577) Bad night (1335)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  why is this not a picture message?!?!

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  (434): just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score! (1-434): why is this not a picture message?!?! http://tfl.nu/992e
  Replies (42) Good night (7739) Bad night (980)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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  (205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9
  Replies (39) Good night (725) Bad night (3741)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind

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  (413): 2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind http://tfl.nu/af2w
  Replies (20) Good night (848) Bad night (6340)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?

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  (250): When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to? http://tfl.nu/e636
  Replies (23) Good night (5500) Bad night (1409)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

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  (217): it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex. http://tfl.nu/bdfn
  Replies (5) Good night (4889) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.

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  (315): He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits. http://tfl.nu/w5h8
  Replies (7) Good night (3437) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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  (727): Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome. http://tfl.nu/3ucr
  Replies (20) Good night (2085) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.

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  (318): In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/56nz
  Replies (12) Good night (539) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.

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  (330): You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower. http://tfl.nu/aao1
  Replies (6) Good night (1473) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen

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  (509): Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen http://tfl.nu/7gtm
  Replies (4) Good night (2735) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  gifts from me to you. you're welcome.

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  (509): btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body... (480): gifts from me to you. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/tkbz
  Replies (2) Good night (1130) Bad night (444)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.

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  (720): He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened. http://tfl.nu/qbkq
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (318)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?

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  (715): Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship? http://tfl.nu/fl0m
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (154)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.

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  (216): I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf. http://tfl.nu/h8h6
  Replies (3) Good night (296) Bad night (390)

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