dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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