booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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