Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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