sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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