when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
