I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
